Because I Am A Girl Music

Please watch this video and listen to the music, the video's got a beautiful but sad love story. There are different versions. Hope you like it.
Here's the Tagalog version so you'll understand the message of the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g05twcg4V_U
But the original version was actually sang be a Korean girl band, Kiss.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaSmikcBod0
Now listen to the music...piano
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BO4_10P5Ow
sadder...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0gpL22Jjeo
and guitar...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oL8lCmVHbg

RiverMouth

Nope! Its not a dirty term or whatsoever. Its just a surfing spot near San Narciso, Zambales. Its called RiverMouth simply because this beach, where you can find the best "junior" ocean waves, is located near an opening of a river by the bridge leading to another town San Marcelino. Did you know that it took us 1 hour to hike or walk from Crystal Beach to get to RiverMouth. We even had to cross small rivers where the soil was just too soft because of the water, your legs would be burried. It was scorching hot and I have already used the entire contents of my Sun Block lotion bottle. I first thought that this was gonna be a bad idea coz I wasnt fond of walking or hiking for that matter in a sandy area under the strong heat of the sun. But it was actually fun. I havent hiked since my last year in highschool. We treked Epol in Davao once during highschool for a scouting camp in a village up there. The climate there was much preferrable because it was cold we didnt took a bath for 2 days. But the setting in RiverMouth was totally different. I can feel my skin above my bikini line burning even though I've put on sunblock for the nth time. When we arrived there, the waves were overwhelming. It wasnt meant for beginners so there was no way that I could try the surfboard that day. Even one of us got wiped out by the waves when he's already considered a pro. So we and the other girls just tried to amuse ourselves having our own version of "Kodak moments".

The journey back to Crystal Beach was easier except that the rivers we crossed got muddier and the soil softer, we were just anticipating how many times we'd have to get our feet burried in. Hopefully we'll be able to visit riverMouth again sometime this year. And hopefully we'll be able to get good waves. Surfs up.

Pareha ni Freja

Last week, my housemates and I stopped by this salon and they really have the cheapest foot spa offer. But I didnt give. It wasn't in my itenerary that day. Naks. Next time na lang. One of my housemates, Nice, decided she wanted to have bangs on her hair. So she had bangs. Nainggit naman ako. Although I already had bangs, my hair has grown really long after my last hair cut. And that was just like a few months ago. I held on to the plan till this afternoon. Pagkatapos ng church ko, I went to the 1st salon, 1st because....basta. I told the stylist "justcut 3 inches off my hair". Oh edi so 3 inches nga lang ang pinutol nya. He, yes, Im sure "he" wasn't gay or someone in between babae and lalake. He cut my hair and he was done in a matter of....seconds???No hindi naman, mga minutes lang. The "blow dry session" even took time, I think, compared to the hair cut session. Anu ba yun? I wasnt satisfied with what he did to my hair. So much for a compulsive hair cut. I was on my way home. I stopped by at the 2nd salon. This time I really have to get what I want. I specifically told the stylist to get rid of the straight cut. This time bading na yung stylist, so I was assumed "mas marunong sya" compared to that guy in the previous salon. Ugh! He said i should have layers or slashes to create volume coz my hair was really thick. The reason why I was so eager to have my hair being cut short was because I recently saw my favorite supermodel, Freja Beha Erichsen, change her hair cut. Here... But its more kinda Katie Holmes hair cut. Its too short for me, I dont think I can pull it off. I was just so used to seeing her with long hair, well, coz most models do have long hair.

So it was kind of great seeing her sporting a new super short hair cut. I really love it! Anyway I let the stylist do his thang! My new haircut wasnt great, but it wasnt bad, it was pretty okay. Anyway, it was better compared to the 1st one I had, just a few hours ago before this session. So next time you want a new Do, make sure you know what you want and make sure the stylist understands how you want your hair to look like. Bugger. Anyway, in a matter of weeks my hair will grow inches again so I'll think of another hair cut that's in style.

Jesus On The Beach

We're going to the beach . . . I was really excited. I didn't even finish a task at work to day so I can get out of the office and meet my beach buddy, Lesley, on time. We were going to San Narciso, Zambales, one of the famous surfing spots in the country. We we're on our way, passed Pampanga, when it rained. I thought we need a miracle! There's no fun swimming and surfing without the sun. It was still "umaambon" when we arrived at Crystal Beach Resort, San Narciso. I thought, again, God, let there be sunshine. We occupied the best barkada type beach front cottage. Echo and Heart used the upper room during their visit in this resort. I was quite disappointed coz there was no hot surfers a.k.a "Pumpkin" in the beach that day. Anyway, the rain had stopped, it was cloudy, saves my skin from sunburn, works for me. The surfboards were not available, maybe all the boards have been taken for rent since we arrived there past 12pm. So we enjoyed our first day swimming and taking pictures as many as we can. We had grilled pork and fish for dinner. I slept early while everybody stayed up late taking shots of Emperador Brandy, di ko kakayanin yon. It was freezing cold at night during our sleep as the rain continued to pour. Then morning came, once again, "umaambon pa rin". We decided to drink coffee at the newly built nippa canteen inside the resort, thank God, they had the idea of building it. I've been in this resort 4 times already and it was really convenient that they now serve meals. A couple of hot guys have already started to show up. Bon, one of us, calls 'em "Channing", taken from the name of that uber hot and sexy model/actor ChanningTatum, now that's self explanatory. So then we continued our agenda for the day, swimming and....trying our best luck to stand on top of a surfboard challenging waves that are not meant for beginners. Just, God, please let us see the sun, never mind if we don't see the beautiful sunset (which is also known in the place). Then Jesus appeared, well, not on top of the water walking while his disciples worry about their fate in the sea, No, but he looked like Jesus though, minus the beard. He was a beautiful American man who came by to watch us. Then the weather changed. I can hear myself humming "I believe in Miracles, sexy baby"... He was a certified "pumpkin", tall, tanned and well built. Since the weather has improved, there was more time taking pictures since we can bring out our cameras. Pumpkin passed again, my heart was screaming " can I take a picture with you"?
We left the beach at PM and had Pizza at Dude's Pizza House where, again, not that I'm a fan of Heart and Echo, anyway, they both ate pizza here and was the first celebrity couple to put their signatures on the wall. We have reached Pampanga by 4pm. While inside the van, we were already planning our next trip. Hopefully we'll be able to go back to San Narciso and visit the other beaches before the year ends. And hopefully Jesus will make another miracle. How would you like to see Jesus surfing in the beach? At least someone who looks like Him anyway (smiles).
Surfs up ma'gurls, see ya in the beach.

The Notebook

Once again, I saw my empty notebook lying on top of my bed this morning. Well, I thought, it's definitely time to make use of it. I haven't even written anything on the first page. It was given to me by my supervisor when I was still part of a sales account of People Support Inc. I miss my teammates... miss everything about that department. For the last 2 months, I've spent countless hours whining and contemplating why the hell was I transferred to an account I didn't like, hotel reservations. Went around talking to each office mate complaining about the haggard causing tasks in that account. Yeah, sometimes, I just have it out with the managers and supervisors. Anyway, Im not writing about that stupid subject today. My efforts of being eliminated from the account have been useless. I know I've been fighting a losing battle, Naks! so back to the notebook.

Ah yes, this reminded me of how much I missed writing. No one really knows, I mean REALLY knows, I think except my mom, how much I really loved writing. I don't write poetry or news or verses, although I am proud to say that I have been part of the school paper's editorial staff during grade school and high school. I never got a chance in college, there was just too many talented and competitive writers back then. Anyway, I always failed my Algebra and Trigonometry class so I concentrated on passing them rather than trying to keep up with deadlines of the articles. but I never stopped writing even if I was no longer contributing anything for the college paper. I also started collecting magazines and inspired myself that someday...I'll be able to see myself in the pages of this magazines...that I'll be able to inspire or entertain other people when they read my column. I have been reading a few books lately. Right now, Im on Chapter 9, Katherine Stone's novel entitled Twins. Well, its about the usual cliche, 2 women who may have similarities in the looks department but are so different in personalities. To make it simple, one is a high class supermodel and the other is an over achiever attorney, so you can just imagine how they were like during high school. So anyway, I have been writing stories too. most of them have the typical plot, boy meets girl kind of stuff, high profiled arrogant guy meets an ignorant cheery kind hearted lady, prince charming bumps into plain Jane... nothing tragic, not like Romeo and Juliet. I'm not a skilled writer. I think I would need some serious training before perfecting a highly complicated story. I look back at my collections of stories in my notebooks, some of them I left at my parents house.

Now I have 4 with me. I never get to finish them, sometimes I ran out of ideas. All I have with me right now are summaries of what I want to happen with the characters. I have thought about publishing or posting them online, hoping someone would notice my works. But I had a friend who used to post his poems on his blog and people who see it copy it, it's like something has been stolen from you. So I think the idea will have to be put on ice. In the meantime, I am happy that my notebook is always open for me, ready to be filled out whenever my hands are itching to write that story.

Split Skill - Split Skull

When I took my job, signed the contract, as a call center agent, one of the things that I had to agree with was that I was willing to be transfered to another department/account if required, without really understanding the implications of that agreement. I belonged to a sales account, DR or Direct Response, where the basics are learned and practiced. Other accounts in the company where I work are customer service, travel (hotel and airline), banking or credit, and technical accounts (read: phones and computers where customer's sometimes don't understand the difference between closing all the windows in the computer, from closing all the windows in the house, how stupid is that). Minsan pag kelangan ng ibang managers ng additional agents para sa account nila, they turn to the DR, comes up with a shortlist of agents willing to be transfered to different accounts where they can help take the call volume and minimize work load. I have survived, or make that excused myself, from a number of interviews with managers wanting to take me as their agent, I had always said no because I dont want to leave my team mates and friends from DR. Then there was this opportunity to be transfered to a travel account, not as a permanent agent, it was a temporary transfer. I thought, hey, maybe this might actually help me in the future. Additional knowledge won't hurt ya. So I took it, I said yes. But that was a wrong decision, major catastrophe! One of the agents of a certain travel account got seriously sick so they asked me to cover for her. So mid-October, I voluntered to be trained for this travel account, it was for a hotel reservation agency based in Denver, Colorado, but the back up customer service department will be operating in a remote area, which is Makati, duh! This required me to take a night shift (because its the only time when Americans are awake, kasi nga naman nasa other side of the globe sila, good God!) During training, I've already felt like I wanted to back out because I've observed the task was not as easy as I thought, and the tools, oh the online processing tools! I even intentionally tried to fail the training exam hoping I could go back from the heaven account where I came from. But the exam was so easy, masyado na atang obvious kung ibabagsak ko pa, and I dont want the trainer to think that I was dimwitted when it was one of the DR managers who recommended me to that stupid travel account. What - a - bummer! It was getting worst when I already went live in the floor, started taking calls, processing reservations, the veteran agents from that account were nearly as humble and as nice as Miriam Defensor Santiago! Even caught them backstabbing me while in the office pantry taking my coffee break. Oh our relationship was just great (sarcastic). It was like hell. I couldnt take it, the work load, the night shift, the deadlines, those b_tch_s. I even pretended to be sick, called in making lame excuses that I had migraine. My wonderful experience with this account continued for a couple of weeks. Then when the sick agent came back, my agony ended. Went back to DR, back with my friends. But that joy was shortlived. Before our company's year end party, I was informed that I had to go back to the travel account because the agent who got sick resigned. I cried. Who wants to go back there. I had no choice, it was part of the job. I attended the year end party but couldnt force myself to have fun knowing that in the next few days I'll split my skull again, er... I'll be split skilled again.

Pinoy Big Brother - My Edition

I live in an apartment. I have housemates who, like me, are also from Davao or who understands Visayan. We all met here in Manila and I was happy that we were all gonna be sharing the same house. We became close, naturally, after being together under 1 roof for almost a year now. We girls share stuffs, eat together, go out or watch movies altogether. There are times when we have minor arguments. But in reality, when you live in a real "Big Brother House", these wonderful relationships, may eventually become sour once you discover your housemates true personalities , that certain closeness and openess for each other slowly disappears. Its like when a couple gets married, one will only discover the other's indifferences when the two live in the same house. This is the same predicament where I am in right now. I thought that my housemates and I were getting along fine. Errrr... Yun ang akala ko... It turned out that the other housemates have already been keeping their grudges against me for quite a while. All the while , I think, they have misinterpreted my jokes and my behaviour, causing them to be indignant about me. I have to admit that I might have offended some peoples feelings because of some of the things I said. I was completely floored when I found out from another housemate that they felt I have humiliated and insulted them, clueless how and when did this happened. I never thought that they would say na may " attitude problem " pala ako , unless ofcourse if I enjoy watching people quip when Im around. Who wants that? Okay, so maybe I didn't feel anything negative about my attitude, sometimes it takes other people to help you acknowledge your shortcomings. Mabait ako pero maldita ako pag naprovoke ako. But I believe my parents have raised me well to be ethical and to be sensitive for the feelings and opinions of others . But I'm not perfect and even if we are, we cant please other people. Not all people can always understand, not willing to accept you for who you naturally are. Even though you know for yourself that you are not doing anything wrong, but still, you cant ignore the ill feelings of other people for you and, in my case, it - really - bothers - me that all the while this is how they perceived me. I cried. For the 4th time, yes, this would be the 4th time I cried over what I would think an irreversible friendship. The first one had something to do with my best friend, there were actually two of them. So the 3rd one was about a classmate of mine in college whom I used to hang out with, thought the frienship would last, I hoped because she was really smart and cool, but I realized I couldnt accept her for who she is, other than her coolness, even if I tried to rekindle our old frienship. But Im contented that even if we bump into each other, we are civil.

Now, I have to handle yet another friendship , what seems to be so nice has become pitiable, which I'm afraid will never be like as it used to be, because this has already been scarred with their irrational judgement against me, even saying "so kami pa ang mag-aadjust para sa kanya... I simply dont like her " , when I have not the idea kung alin...saan sila mag-aadjust. I would have admitted my faults had I known for my self that I did something, big deal, or some sort of a major - humiliating - disgusting... thingy. I resented them for having ill thoughts against me when I have not even thought of them that way, not once. But I am sincerely sorry if I have offended them in any way they thought I have. I dont wish to argue who's right or who's wrong, I dont want to give them the satisfaction, it will only make me guilty over something they're judging me. Im not saying that the hurt I caused or they caused was not important or that what happened between us was okay. "Its not a question of whether who needs to be forgiven and who needs to forgive." I want to free myself from resentment and grudges. Sure I may have made mistakes despite my best intentions, and my housemates and I have diffrences that needs to be resolved, its unavoidable. By the time that I need to move to a new and different "Big Bother House", I may still recall this experience, my actions and thoughts. I still thank God for the wonderful friendships I have made, and will ponder on the things that made those frienships die. Why would I let myself get trapped. Just move on and get it over with, that's how it should be. If you're experiencing the same way, I hope you handle it smoothly. I am proud of myself that I have been able to deal with it on my own and, I wont keep my hopes to high, I still want my housemates and I to become friends until we all go back to our "real homes."